β€œWhy bother beginning, when I can feel The End?”

This is a question I've asked myself many times – or more accurately, this question describes how I have often felt in my life.

It’s a tendency that many of us have, I believe, to overthink and imagine how things will go...

but through a lens tinted by fear and pessimism.

There is a fixation on the end of things. I think this stems from a simple defense mechanism of the human mind. That part of us is attempting to save us from experiencing more of whatever hurt us in the past.

And that’s great and all, but...

not if we want to experience a new beginning.

the end

It's over. Done. Dead. Heartbreak. Break up. Lost hope. Why bother. Destruction. All in vain. Failure. Total annihilation...

The End.

Yeah, intense stuff, but not necessarily so. For the part of me who gets caught up in the self-destructive stories of "The End," though, all that heaviness is typically what I feel.

If you are familiar with the concept of archetypes, then you will know what I mean when I say:

"The End" feels like an archetypal energy.

Similar to the major arcana Death and Judgment in Tarot, The End carries a halting, transformative energy.

It’s the final moment. Judgement Day. Throwing in the towel. Surrender.

Of course, also:

A new beginning. Enlightenment. Letting go. Trust.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, though. What I am attempting to express is all of the heaviness that can be attached to the concept of "The End,"

and how that heaviness often blocks and prevents us from ever getting started with anything new.

Because... why bother starting something new, when I know it's going to end?

do you though?

I have been literally and metaphorically burned enough times to feel wary of how I use my energy and time in this life.

Relationships, projects, partnerships, endeavors of all kinds have brought me much pain and feelings of failure.

Why would it be any different than it already has been?

I know it will be the same!

. . .

No, I don't know that.

If I am being radically and courageously honest with myself...

I don't know how it will be.

That's the thing. The sneaking, nagging thing that continually nips at our heels:

No outcome is certain.

(At least, not perceivably so at this finite level of human existence.)

And rather than fearfully attempting to locate or generate some false sense of certainty in this vastly uncertain reality so that I can feel safe...

I can lean into the uncertainty...

and practice trust,

and practice hope,

and practice letting go.

This may seem naive, and indeed this approach can be taken naively. However, we can use this approach skillfully as a means of healing our emotionally heavy fixation on "The End."

leaning into uncertainty

How is it that we can convince ourselves that we know something won't be worth it?

Well, quite simply, we lie to ourselves and call it truth.

The truth is: no outcome is certain.

The lie is: I know exactly how this will go.

⭐
And at this point I am noticing a need to clearly express that trusting yourself is very important. You have a deep intuition that should be cherished.

You are also capable of noticing patterns, and making decisions based on how those patterns are likely to continue.

Follow your intuition, and use your pattern recognition to make beneficial choices. If you would like help with this, I am your coach.

So, even though we may be able to predict to a degree of certainty that a given series of events will unfold in a particular way, we can never be 100% certain.

Applying this to our fixation on The End: we can never be certain of how it will end, or if it will ever end, whatever "it" is.

In this uncertainty is a very special invitation...

an invitation to trust

Dear Traveler, you have a desire within you that must be expressed and pursued and cherished beyond all else.

You have tried before, and perhaps the result was less than fulfilling.

And there is fear around giving it another go, because of how things "ended" before.

But that's just it, Traveler:

There is no ending, and no failure.

There is only the next step in your process.

Stepping into the truth of uncertainty is accepting the invitation to trust your greater process of learning which is unfolding over the course of your entire life.

There is no failure, only learning.

There is no end, only beginning.

There is no death, only transformation.

Of course, these are very polarizing statements.

Most things are not so black and white in this world. I only say it this way to get your mind turning, to loosen your grip on your worldview, and open yourself up to trying on a new frame for your reality.

And this brings us to an important question:

if you knew how it ends...

Would you do it anyway?

Really sit in that question, Traveler. For just a moment...

And think about a situation in your life, or something you've been wanting to change, or something you've been wanting to start...

If you know how it will end, would you still want to do it?

. . .

And here are some follow-up questions to go a little deeper:

Do I truly know how it will end?

Am I afraid of success?

Am I afraid of getting hurt?

What am I really afraid of?

Am I brave enough to do this?

. . .

I believe in you, Traveler.

This is a long journey we're on, and we're on it together.

If you would like a helping hand, I'd be honored to give you two.

Until next time, farewell, Traveler.

Love,
Devin
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negative fixation on the end πŸ˜–

β€œWhy bother beginning, when I can feel The End?”