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A man I love dearly, and who loves me even more, told me from a place of deep compassion and love as I navigate the grief of separating from my partner,

Don't let a woman change your course.

He's had his fair share of suffering in his life around a woman he loves, and I could tell his words came from a similar place of grief.

I understand...

And I disagree.

I am so grateful for the ways in which my course was changed – and changing still – and I feel closer to my truth than I ever would if I had chosen differently than to be with her.

So I tell myself.

So I choose to believe.

Never have I been shown so clearly my demons:

The worst, most terrible and terrifying parts of myself...

Never have I felt so received in my affection:

The softest, most tender and loving parts of myself...

Never have I been so encouraged to know my animal:

The deepest, most sensual and primal parts of myself...

All these came to the light of my awareness within the crucible of our connection.

I wouldn't trade it for anything, not even the most painful moments, nor the most bitter resentments ~

~ now evaporating into unconditional love...

Truly, I am humbled to my core–

and shattered to pieces.

This broken mirror of my self strewn about the floor of my mind is melting into a new perspective within the fire of my heart.

One of respect,

and honor,

and deep, deep, deeper love than any I've known before.

I allow it all,

to consume me,

to become me,

to transform me into someone I have always longed to be...

So I thank you, my love.

Thank you,

thank you,

thank you.

Love,
Devin

ᛞᛏᛗᛗ

. . .

(And since I never got to tell you in person – Happy 41st Birthday.)